So, Kelly and I have been a bit quiet as of late. There are few reasons for that, but the main reason is that we were in the midst of a couple possibilities and with waiting for those possibilities to materialize we really had nothing to post about that was tangible.
Yesterday was my birthday and I had a really great day. A really, really great day. I think that I would have had a great day even if it was not my birthday. Why is that? you might ask. Well, you know how Kelly and I are there is a story in it!
I remember a story from when I was a kid written by Aesop. The Crow and the pitcher is as follows:
"A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it. He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair. Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped it into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. Then he took another pebble and dropped that into the Pitcher. At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench his thirst and save his life."
The story really speaks to how I came to having a great day. In my life I was feeling like the parched Crow and I really needed that water. As in the story, little by little the water was brought up from the bottom of the pitcher, I have had pebbles or joys in this case that have added up to the greater whole of a really great day. I have been spending more time in the word as late and that in it self can bring about a positive shift in spirit. Also, I recently came out of a songwriting funk that I had been in since last fall and I have been reclaiming somethings that I had allowed others to take control of in my life.
These things along with what has been happening in the adopting process for Kelly and I have lead to the perfect storm of joy in my life. I feel more at ease, more in self control and for that matter more human. Kelly and I were playing a waiting game of sorts. When looking at adopting as we are the decision is not ours as to the placement. The decision rests with the birth mother as to whom she will place with. Now, after a season of waiting, Kelly and I have been picked.
Our birth mother, Kristin, is due in November and, as yet we are not aware the sex of the baby. That will be a future post (A very near future post!).
I know that finding out I am going to be a dad in a few short month is a pretty large pebble to be tossed in my pitcher; however I still want to encourage all of you that all that it takes to experience that kind of progressive joy is to reach out and take hold of the pebbles that are being given freely from the King of all pebbles, Jesus. I have!
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" Matthew 7:7
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Overwhelmed but Hanging On!
Hello from beneath the ever-mounting pile of paperwork.
Every time I send off another packet of impossibly invasive and personal questionnaires, another appears within days in my mailbox.
I love the agency we are using, Journeys of the Heart, but I am beginning to feel like they are trying to drown us in paper.
We were required to take a 2 day adoption class in Portland a couple of weekends ago. Can I just say wow. So much information was crammed into a very short amount of time. We were given hand out after hand out regarding everything from Oregon Law on adoption to a reading list of required books, to the correct language to use regarding adoption. I know. Just writing that out was overwhelming.
We have another couple of classes we still have to attend. Infant CPR & another on "Bringing Baby Home". Did I mention the list of books we are required to read too? I think there are 4-5 very thick, very educationally-looking books.
All of this is to try and "prepare" us for our little bundle of joy!
All I feel right now is overwhelmed and frustrated.
But that is okay. Because I am also hanging on.
Hanging on to the fact that very soon I will be a mom.
Hanging on to the fact that very soon my husband will be receiving a "Best Dad" mug.
Hanging on to the fact that our new-to-us van that Jeremy keeps washing & vacuuming out will have caked on juice stains & petrified french fries stuck in the seats.
Hanging on to the fact that there will be sleep deprived nights & spit up stains & sore feet from stepping on legos in the middle of the night.
That is what keeps me sharpening my pencils & diving back into the overwhelming stack of paperwork.
Because someday, someday hopefully very soon, this will all be worth it.
So if you see me with my arm in a sling, no worries, I'm just resting it up for the next trip to the mailbox!
Blessings- Kelly
Every time I send off another packet of impossibly invasive and personal questionnaires, another appears within days in my mailbox.
I love the agency we are using, Journeys of the Heart, but I am beginning to feel like they are trying to drown us in paper.
We were required to take a 2 day adoption class in Portland a couple of weekends ago. Can I just say wow. So much information was crammed into a very short amount of time. We were given hand out after hand out regarding everything from Oregon Law on adoption to a reading list of required books, to the correct language to use regarding adoption. I know. Just writing that out was overwhelming.
We have another couple of classes we still have to attend. Infant CPR & another on "Bringing Baby Home". Did I mention the list of books we are required to read too? I think there are 4-5 very thick, very educationally-looking books.
All of this is to try and "prepare" us for our little bundle of joy!
All I feel right now is overwhelmed and frustrated.
But that is okay. Because I am also hanging on.
Hanging on to the fact that very soon I will be a mom.
Hanging on to the fact that very soon my husband will be receiving a "Best Dad" mug.
Hanging on to the fact that our new-to-us van that Jeremy keeps washing & vacuuming out will have caked on juice stains & petrified french fries stuck in the seats.
Hanging on to the fact that there will be sleep deprived nights & spit up stains & sore feet from stepping on legos in the middle of the night.
That is what keeps me sharpening my pencils & diving back into the overwhelming stack of paperwork.
Because someday, someday hopefully very soon, this will all be worth it.
So if you see me with my arm in a sling, no worries, I'm just resting it up for the next trip to the mailbox!
Blessings- Kelly
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Paperwork, finance, a van and more...
Ok so it has finally sunk in. I am going to be a dad.
Kelly and I are on the road to adoption, but we are not far enough along to have any idea what child God is bringing into our lives. I just know that I am going to be a dad. Is it the litany of paperwork that we have filled out or yet to have filled out? No. Is it the strong desire that Kelly and I have for children? No, but that does help. No it is something much more primal, much more definitive that is driving my assurance of being a father. Kelly and I just purchased a VAN!
Most men shy away from this foreboding omen of the chaos to come, yet I am staring into the storm with a smile on my face reminiscent of Bruce Campbell.
"I will be a dad and you cannot intimidate me!" I say to the van and the storm, "Though you steal my coolness, though you break my lead footed, sports car dreams, and though you lure me in with your promises of leather seats, top of the line stereo, and child distracting DVD dreams, I will prevail. I will garner the much anticipated title of DAD!!!! You will not win in the end!"
I know this is overly dramatic, but well....
I will proudly step into this van if only to have the possibility of family road trips, slobbery kisses and drinking coffee from the much earned, "Greatest Dad in the World" mug.
Kelly and I are very thankful for all of your prayers and support of this endeavor. We are in the midst of planning for a concert benefit thingy and we will be inviting all of you to come and celebrate this process with us.
A few bits of housekeeping to pass on to you. Thank you for those that have decided to help in supporting us in our adoption. You need to know that we greatly appreciate it and know that we cannot do this with out you. If you are thinking about supporting us we have a few things to let you know. This is not a ministry or nonprofit so you will not be able to claim it on your taxes. If you are looking at whether you should tithe or give to our effort, I want to say emphatically TITHE!. That is God's money and we do not want it, God will provide. If you have given your tithe and you are looking to give an offering to a ministry like helping Luke Valenti in Albania or Matt & Sarah as they go to Nicaragua or helping with our adoption. I would say choose the missions first. Now if you have done all that and still feel strongly that you are to help the Walker''s to save a life, than we will gladly take you up on your offer!
We have the donate button in the upper right to help expedite your support, but if PayPal and electronic donations are not your thing, than you can go into any US Bank and ask to donate to "The Walker Adoption" or under Kelly Walker and they can help you get your funds to the right place. We have asked a trusted friend to be the administrator for the account so that what ever goes into the account will be used for the adoption process so that everything is above board.
We are finished with our initial paperwork and it is amazing how the paperwork keeps multiplying! Next we are going to our adoption class the 19th and 20th. This was a surprise. We got a call that we had the choice of this class or the next one FOUR MONTHS AWAY! We chose this one for the obvious reason that we are not wanting to wait that long! Being that the class is taking place on a Sunday and that is my biggest work day, I had to find someone to fill in at short notice. Thankfully a great friend was available to jump in so Kelly and I could run to Portland! Thank you again Rhonda!
Thank you God for your blessings and this new stage in our life. Thank you Jesus also for great friends that have been encouraging this journey! Amen!
P.S. Yes I will tame the van with a branding of our own bumper stickers!!!
Jeremy
Monday, March 7, 2011
Time to wait
Who knew there was a right way and a wrong way to wait?
I didn't. I thought if you were waiting then you were, well, just waiting.
But I learned something pretty cool tonight, so I thought I would share.
In Isaiah 40:31 it says: "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
In Beth Moore's bible study on Esther, she points out that there is more than one way to wait. If we are waiting on something, or someone, or some event, then waiting can be exhausting. It can be painful. It can wear you out.
But if we wait the way we are supposed to wait...on the Lord, then we are renewed, strengthened, and transformed!
So thinking about that in context with this whole adoption thing really made me pause. I mean we have been waiting a loooooooonnnnnnngggggg time. But have I been waiting the right way?
I definitely have those times where I am impatient for this to just be over and to have children. I want to skip straight to the end and be done with it all. I don't want to have to fill out ANY more paperwork, questionnaires, or informational packets. Just give me my baby, thank you very much.
But there have also been those times of self-discovery in this process. Times of examining my heart and motives, my priorities and my beliefs. Those times have been extraordinary.
I have heard so many times by well-meaning people that it "may just not be God's timing yet" for us to have kids. Well let me tell you that my response to that phrase has not always been kind. Why is God having me wait? What did I do to have to wait while everyone around me is having kids? Why?
So back to Isaiah. If I choose to wait upon the Lord, not upon the arrival of our baby, then I will be strengthened as I wait. Its a choice I have to make. I can be frustrated and outraged that I have to wait. I can complain and pout as I am waiting.
OR....
or I can enjoy this time I have been given with my husband. Enjoy traveling at a moments notice. Enjoy doing what I want to do when I want to do it. If I choose to trust and WAIT on the Lord, I guess that means I won't be too exhausted when He finally does give us our baby. He wants me to be rested and ready to welcome the chaos that will come with this new addition. He doesn't want me so tired from waiting that I miss out on all He has for me.
So I choose to wait.
I choose to wait with a smile on my face.
And I guess with all this waiting, it gives me more time to eat my vegetables too!
Blessings- Kelly
I didn't. I thought if you were waiting then you were, well, just waiting.
But I learned something pretty cool tonight, so I thought I would share.
In Isaiah 40:31 it says: "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
In Beth Moore's bible study on Esther, she points out that there is more than one way to wait. If we are waiting on something, or someone, or some event, then waiting can be exhausting. It can be painful. It can wear you out.
But if we wait the way we are supposed to wait...on the Lord, then we are renewed, strengthened, and transformed!
So thinking about that in context with this whole adoption thing really made me pause. I mean we have been waiting a loooooooonnnnnnngggggg time. But have I been waiting the right way?
I definitely have those times where I am impatient for this to just be over and to have children. I want to skip straight to the end and be done with it all. I don't want to have to fill out ANY more paperwork, questionnaires, or informational packets. Just give me my baby, thank you very much.
But there have also been those times of self-discovery in this process. Times of examining my heart and motives, my priorities and my beliefs. Those times have been extraordinary.
I have heard so many times by well-meaning people that it "may just not be God's timing yet" for us to have kids. Well let me tell you that my response to that phrase has not always been kind. Why is God having me wait? What did I do to have to wait while everyone around me is having kids? Why?
So back to Isaiah. If I choose to wait upon the Lord, not upon the arrival of our baby, then I will be strengthened as I wait. Its a choice I have to make. I can be frustrated and outraged that I have to wait. I can complain and pout as I am waiting.
OR....
or I can enjoy this time I have been given with my husband. Enjoy traveling at a moments notice. Enjoy doing what I want to do when I want to do it. If I choose to trust and WAIT on the Lord, I guess that means I won't be too exhausted when He finally does give us our baby. He wants me to be rested and ready to welcome the chaos that will come with this new addition. He doesn't want me so tired from waiting that I miss out on all He has for me.
So I choose to wait.
I choose to wait with a smile on my face.
And I guess with all this waiting, it gives me more time to eat my vegetables too!
Blessings- Kelly
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Cereal vs. Vegetables
Okay so I love cereal.
No, I mean I really love cereal. Like if Jeremy would let me, I would eat cereal for almost every meal. I love cereal.
Now opposite of that is vegetables. I loathe them. I despise them. I question why God had to create them. I hate vegetables.
So a few years ago Jer & I are having dinner & he realizes that I never eat my vegetables. Like never. He gives me all the usual arguments as to why I should eat them: they are good for your eyesight, they give you healthy nutrients, blah, blah, blah. Then he gets really sneaky. He says, "how can we encourage our kids to be healthy eaters if their mom won't eat her vegetables." Yeah, like I said sneaky. I mean how can I argue with that logic. Of course I would want my kids to be healthy eaters. I know how important that is. But seriously, its just not fair.
So fast forward to now, and I am taking stock of my life as we get ready for this HUGE adjustment that is about to happen. (you know, adopting) So I'm cleaning out closets & rearranging stuff & just really trying to comprehend what is important & whats not when it hits me!!!!! I am going to have to start eating vegetables!
Now I know some of you may be rolling your eyes at how trivial this all seems. I mean really, I am a grown woman & I should just suck it up. But hey, again, I hate vegetables.
So it got me thinking about other stuff. I mean Jer and I have been married for over 13 years, and in that time we have become pretty set in our ways. We have a routine. Things happen in a certain way around our house. I mean our dog and cat occasionally get in the way, but not too much. And now we are going to throw a tiny bundle of joy into the mix. I have been around kids a lot growing up, been around our friends with kids lately to know that babies change EVERYTHING! And here we are actively pursuing chaos & change. Are we crazy???? Well, yeah, but hey you knew that already right?! But seriously, we are inviting change into our home. This kinda freaks me out. But as I reflect on all of this, I've realized something pretty profound. I am ready for it. I mean as ready as you can be for this kinda thing. But I'm looking forward to the changes this baby will bring into our lives. Even if I don't quite comprehend how that will look, I am excited. Really excited.
So I guess what I am saying is this: yeah I love cereal, I love how my life has been, I love the freedom that Jer and I have had.
But I am ready for the vegetables. The unknowns that this child will bring into my life. The crazy, chaotic moments of why.
I'm ready. Or at least attempting to be.But as in everything, its a process.
So thanks for listening.
And if you happen to see me in the next couple of months, ask me about my vegetables.
blessings- Kelly
No, I mean I really love cereal. Like if Jeremy would let me, I would eat cereal for almost every meal. I love cereal.
Now opposite of that is vegetables. I loathe them. I despise them. I question why God had to create them. I hate vegetables.
So a few years ago Jer & I are having dinner & he realizes that I never eat my vegetables. Like never. He gives me all the usual arguments as to why I should eat them: they are good for your eyesight, they give you healthy nutrients, blah, blah, blah. Then he gets really sneaky. He says, "how can we encourage our kids to be healthy eaters if their mom won't eat her vegetables." Yeah, like I said sneaky. I mean how can I argue with that logic. Of course I would want my kids to be healthy eaters. I know how important that is. But seriously, its just not fair.
So fast forward to now, and I am taking stock of my life as we get ready for this HUGE adjustment that is about to happen. (you know, adopting) So I'm cleaning out closets & rearranging stuff & just really trying to comprehend what is important & whats not when it hits me!!!!! I am going to have to start eating vegetables!
Now I know some of you may be rolling your eyes at how trivial this all seems. I mean really, I am a grown woman & I should just suck it up. But hey, again, I hate vegetables.
So it got me thinking about other stuff. I mean Jer and I have been married for over 13 years, and in that time we have become pretty set in our ways. We have a routine. Things happen in a certain way around our house. I mean our dog and cat occasionally get in the way, but not too much. And now we are going to throw a tiny bundle of joy into the mix. I have been around kids a lot growing up, been around our friends with kids lately to know that babies change EVERYTHING! And here we are actively pursuing chaos & change. Are we crazy???? Well, yeah, but hey you knew that already right?! But seriously, we are inviting change into our home. This kinda freaks me out. But as I reflect on all of this, I've realized something pretty profound. I am ready for it. I mean as ready as you can be for this kinda thing. But I'm looking forward to the changes this baby will bring into our lives. Even if I don't quite comprehend how that will look, I am excited. Really excited.
So I guess what I am saying is this: yeah I love cereal, I love how my life has been, I love the freedom that Jer and I have had.
But I am ready for the vegetables. The unknowns that this child will bring into my life. The crazy, chaotic moments of why.
I'm ready. Or at least attempting to be.But as in everything, its a process.
So thanks for listening.
And if you happen to see me in the next couple of months, ask me about my vegetables.
blessings- Kelly
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Overflow...
I have been chewing on 1 Thessalonians 3:12-13, which is the theme verse for the young adult ministry that Kelly and I lead here in Redmond. The text is: May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for every one else, just as ours does for you. May He strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all His holy ones.
I prayed that God would give the young adults a verse that we could all rally around, while God built this ministry. I prayed that God's love would "overflow" from us to others and yet I realized on Sunday that I forgot one aspect of this. I needed to be prepared and prepare our group for those times when God's Love was poured out ON us from someone else.
Kelly and I launched this blog late Saturday early Sunday as a step of faith that we were going to move forward and let God provide the way.
Well, we were truly blessed beyond our expectations. When we returned from church Sunday afternoon I decided to check our facebook posts. Kelly and I have been really blessed by your well wishes and how many of you posted our blog on your profiles. Thank you, again thank you.
Well God has a way of hitting you with a one two punch. I also looked at my email and was surprised to find an email notification from our 'Donate' button's PayPal account telling us that we had our first donation from a very dear friend for $500.00. Little did did this person know that we were looking at sending off our application and the first fee of $300.00. We also have a few other fees for fingerprinting and alike that are now covered thanks to our friend.
So now I need to share with our young adults that we are praying that our love would 'overflow' on to others, but also that there is something really tangible in accepting that love when it 'overflows' from other.
Thank you for helping Kelly and I live out our "Fearless Dream"
Jeremy
I prayed that God would give the young adults a verse that we could all rally around, while God built this ministry. I prayed that God's love would "overflow" from us to others and yet I realized on Sunday that I forgot one aspect of this. I needed to be prepared and prepare our group for those times when God's Love was poured out ON us from someone else.
Kelly and I launched this blog late Saturday early Sunday as a step of faith that we were going to move forward and let God provide the way.
Well, we were truly blessed beyond our expectations. When we returned from church Sunday afternoon I decided to check our facebook posts. Kelly and I have been really blessed by your well wishes and how many of you posted our blog on your profiles. Thank you, again thank you.
Well God has a way of hitting you with a one two punch. I also looked at my email and was surprised to find an email notification from our 'Donate' button's PayPal account telling us that we had our first donation from a very dear friend for $500.00. Little did did this person know that we were looking at sending off our application and the first fee of $300.00. We also have a few other fees for fingerprinting and alike that are now covered thanks to our friend.
So now I need to share with our young adults that we are praying that our love would 'overflow' on to others, but also that there is something really tangible in accepting that love when it 'overflows' from other.
Thank you for helping Kelly and I live out our "Fearless Dream"
Jeremy
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