Bumper stickers....

So, I was driving to the store the other night and I just happened to pull up behind this Ford Expedition with various bumper stickers on the back. I started to read the display that this faceless, nameless person had so painstakingly placed for all to see. There was an "apple" sticker placed right in the middle of the widow to identify themselves with every thing trendy and hip. Off to the drivers side there was a sticker "Dutch mafia" to show there obvious obsession with the caffeine laced delights from our local Dutch Brothers Coffee. Also, a sticker with an anecdotal reference or joke that I reallycan't remember. There was even a trailer hitch cover with a bright yellow "O" in a green field to show their support for the Oregon Ducks. This was a way for this person to make their Ford Expedition unique to other Ford Expeditions. This is a way for this nameless, faceless person to reveal to the world the labels that they feel describe some part of who they are or who they would like to be. Like saying, "I'm different, I matter, and what I think and feel really matters".

I want to label myself. In the moment that I reviewed this other persons stickers on their vehicle I realized that I wanted to be labeled and stickered up for who I was. Maybe a sticker from a favorite guitar company, one that identified the great town I live, one to share my love of spending time with family, another for my PS3, and still another for the Food network that I like to watch for ideas. "This is who I am" I would say as I stepped back with pride to look at my vehicle, but I would find that this picture was not complete without the label that my wife and I would so desperately want to share with the world. Forget labeling our car, I want to shout it, cry it, and tell everyone (Whether I know them or not). That label is "Parent". Such an ominous two syllable word.

My wife and I met 15 years ago, last November. We met in a college course that the two of us were taking. We were engaged three months later and the rest was history as they say. The deal is that the rest was not really just history. We really loved each other and still do. At the time when we were early engaged we spent a great deal of time talking about the family that wanted to have. We both would talk for hours about the two to four kids that we wanted and we would bandy about the newest names that we liked and amend our previous amount of kids that we wanted, all dependent on whether or not we had spent any time with a toddler in the last week. The years have really flown by as we made many a great memory. Still, we have felt and empty slot in our life waiting to be fulfilled.

Kelly and I love movies, spending time together and with others. We love God and have run to him with our 'baby' desires many, many, many times. We love our family, those near to us and those far. We love all of the children in our lives, even though they are not ours. We just have that love in our hearts reserved for our children that has yet to be given.

For years we have helped, in the churches that we have attended, with youth events and children's classes. We would say that if God had instilled in us a love and a desire to raise children, then why not help in raising this generation while we wait. And that is just what we did. Waited.

Time has a way of erasing or etching deeper those things that we may want. Our desire to be parents has not been erased. It has not vanished in spite of the almost 14 years of marriage. The pain of hearing the same advice (ie "if you just adopt you'll get pregnant", "You just need to calm down about getting pregnant and you'll get pregnant", "You know God just told me that you are going to get pregnant this year" and many more) has not diminished our fervor for parenting and in fact has only made it more pressing and also more painful. The advice has been the hardest to bear. The advice and the stories. The messages that we hear at church 95% of the stories and messages center around children and parenting.

Pain does not negate passion. Some of the greatest atheletes, musicians, artists, and alike perform through the pain. In fact some of the best say that it was because of their pain that they overcame this adversity to become the very best. This is our hope as we move toward parenting.

Kelly and I have prayerfully considered and are now on the path toward adoption. We are sharing with all of you so that you can go along with us on this journey to save a life. This journey has to potential to change the landscape of life for not just Kelly and I, but for everyone that we come in contact with and, if you know us at all, that idea really appeals to us. If God can use our story to inspire, comfort, or challenge then we are more than willing to share. We want to be parents and if you get something out of our story then all the better.

Here is the catch, as we have been praying for God's direction and His grace, we have come to the realization (duh) that we can not do this on our own. Being a pastor and musician, I know that I am never really going to make a lot of money and Kelly and I have been OK with that. We are still paying on old medical bills and my student loans (that we will have for years), but even with all of that I know and trust and really believe that God will make a way for Kelly and I to save a life through adoption. So here is where you and others will come in. If you are reading this then in some way you are already involved, but here are all the areas that we are going to need help:

1. Prayer (This is not a trite request, we need your prayers)
2. Attending future fundraiser events
3. Inviting friends and family to read this blog and attend events
4. Praying as to how you may help this effort to save this life.
5. Funding the effort (This effort can cost upwards of $30,000- $40,000)
   
6. Encourage us while we walk through this.

Kelly and I will be sharing more about ourselves and our story over the next year as we walk this path. Please, if nothing else, come along with us and prayer for God's timing, God's plan and for the children that God will bring into our lives.

Jeremy